Borat supports your glorious efforts in the field of writing for media.

Tired of pitching stories to magazines and never getting an answer?

Or getting an answer, and it’s “No, that’s just not right for us”–even though you could swear the magazine publishes stories like yours all the time?

Or getting an answer, and it’s “What a meaty topic! Can you give me 150 words for the front of the book? We pay on publication.”

Pitching stories is the dismal side of freelance writing. You have to do it pretty steadily, or you just start to lose the nerve. It’s like asking people out on dates, but for work. Most of the time, you never get a reply. It’s a sad state when getting a quick ‘No, thanks’ feels like success.

Give yourself a quick boost with the Freelance Writer Love Generator: email your pitch to freelancelovegenerator@gmail.com. Or, if you don’t like emailing that pitch you slaved over to random email addresses (understandable), just bcc: that address on a gentle follow-up email to that editor you still haven’t heard from. Or just drop a note saying hi–or whatever. I guarantee you’ll get a little something that will make your day. (If you don’t get something in a couple of minutes, check your spam folder.)

Your email message and address are automatically deleted. I don’t look through anything. It’s a vacation auto-responder, so it will only reply every four days. If you find you need the Freelance Writer Love Generator more frequently than that, seek real-world help among your other freelance friends. Coffee and a quality bitch session does wonders.

Good luck writing, and keep pitching. The world needs your good ideas.